When disagreements in a relationship aren’t resolved, and discussions escalate into arguments and fights, what often happens is that one or both partners start to despair about whether things will ever work out.
To keep the peace for the meantime, there can be a tendency to sweep things under the rug.
This can make some sense in the short term, because right now the two of you may lack the skills you need to speak constructively with each other. But over time, your relationship can suffer from what I call The Lumpy Rug Syndrome — where so much gets swept under the rug, you can barely walk across your living room floor without tripping over something and falling into an argument.
When you find “we can’t go there” — can’t talk about money, sex, disciplining the kids, sharing household chores…can’t talk about resentments and frustrations and hurts, it’s time to get help. It can feel scary when these things build, making you not want to open “Pandora’s Box”. So the frustrations keep building, and feel scarier still.
Yes– by all means, stop arguing! But be sure to take action instead, and reach out for help.That’s the only way out of this dilemma — find a skilled couples counselor who’s experienced at helping couples through what can feel like dangerous territory.
And remember — often simply the act of learning new and better communication skills can go a long way towards giving you the tools you need to work things out.
The sooner you take action, the better off you’ll be.
To schedule by phone, call or text 718.314.6064.